a step in the right direction


I did something productive today - and it felt amazing. I went for a run. I didn't get a job or find a gold mine. I just got up this morning and decided to go out in the freezing cold and run. How crazy is that?! But wait it gets better, let me explain:
I've always liked running. Since elementary school (I was the fastest girl in the 6th grade) I have always enjoyed it. I don't do it very often and most of the time I forget that I can actually run for a descent amount of time. I was the girl in my class that looked forward to field day and when our gym teacher would have us do all sorts of exercises and record our times. While everyone else hated running and sweating and hanging from the pull up bars - I like it!
So the past few days I've been itching to move. To dance. To do something productive with my body. Yesterday was when I realized that this desire was getting pretty bad. I was riding in the car with my dad and found my body moving to every song that came on the radio. And I mean EVERY song. Even if I hated it or had never heard it before. And it wasn't like I was physically moving either - my dad was totally unaware - but it was sort of a combination of an internal thing mixed with a day dream. I saw myself dancing and was feeling whatever was being portrayed in the music. I guess this is something that you can only understand if you know what it feels like to be connected to movement in a personal way. I just re-read this and to everyone else, I'm sorry but it probably seems like a different language; which it is. When we got home, I came to my room and sat on my bed. I had pretty much choreographed entire pieces of movement within the 4o minutes that we were in the car. How come I couldn't do that this past semester when I needed to. POINT PROVEN: this entire semester in my dance composition class I kept thinking about how easy and rewarding choreographing is when I don't HAVE to do it, or when I'm not getting grading on it or when there is no deadline. HELLO! Gosh it's frustrating, but at the same time I know that I still love dancing. If I didn't love it anymore this wouldn't have happened, and it wouldn't have made me get up this morning and actually want to put on my sneakers and endure the freezing air.
I feel better. I don't have a job this winter break, I don't really have too much money. But it's ok! I exercised and I felt wonderful. Running down the paved road I was thinking to myself "I don't think I could stop moving my legs if I wanted to - so I might as well keep going." It was like they had a mind of there own. They haven't seen any action in over a week so I guess I don't blame them. It was an awesome morning and it feels good to be sore again! Hopefully I will still have this want to go running after we get the humongous snow storm tonight!

Wow this is super long and I'm not even going to re-read it. It will defeat the purpose of this. Forgetting editing, it's meant to be this way!

Yay for Saturday's, for it almost being Christmas and for snow!
Get your shovels out everyone!

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